Expectations

Expectations grow, like a bramble in our dreams. As each one is met, we dismiss it ungraciously. As each one is unmet, we howl at the unfairness of it all. And yet, the expectations are as much ours as were the dreams they grew in...

I Love You

- Another lament on transitions, on differences. A lovely soul that I spent several years with, thinking once again that this was the one. In my heart, I saw our future, our life out into old age together. I moved off to college and thought that regular calls, and a few visits a month could make it work. But in retrospect, I realize that even with my proclamations of love, missed the boat in not offering her more space in my life.  I knew I needed to go to college, but beyond taking her on the tour of the college with me, I could have, should have offered her some strands of my life to weave us together with.  I could have proposed, but the time wasn't right.  I could have at least shared more of my then vision for us - or perhaps I did, and now fool my self in thinking that I could have persuaded her, had I only shown her my vision more clearly.  I could have offered her to move to the college town with me, but that would have uprooted her life, for an unsure future with me.  This song is the closest to "country" that I've gotten in a song that I actually recorded. December of 1988.

           I love you

I love you, I love you, I love, she once said
As if that really matters, now that our love's dead
And all of the memories, all the moments we spend,
It all comes to nothing, when you loose them, again.

I thought I found the woman, who would love me for life,
Sometime in the future, we would be man and wife,
But somehow that's all different, now that her love ends,
Now the woman, that loved me, is barely a friend.

I love her, I love her, I love her, I cried,
And if love doesn't mater, than what good is life?
If only, she would love me, as more than a friend,
She'd love me, I'd love her, we'd be lovers, again.

(C) 2011 Dave Cox

You hope it's like the movies

- Going through these songs is a swirl of memories, many similar, with subtle different tinges to things. The fact that I wrote it down neither makes it permanent, nor unique - but it helps in a cathartic sort of way.  It helps to see that "this too shall pass". That this experience isn't unique in my or most anyone's life.  People are different, and in so, relationships will to varying degrees have complications, period.  The more entwined you get, the more "knobs and levers" there are to yank on, which results in differences, friction and frustration. And at the same time, the more love that flows back and forth, the more "lubricated" the mechanisms of relationship are; forgiveness, humor, understanding, empathy, and perhaps most of all, optimism and hope.  This song, from the mid to late eighties, is about hope.  It was written for a friend named Melinda I met at Palomar College, that was going through hard times with boyfriend after boyfriend.  And here's a wish into the ether, that Melinda found her hero...

You hope it's like the movies

Once you thought it was special, that this time love might last,
Once you thought he was perfect, but you were wrong, like so often in the past.
Now you think you know better, and you won't get fooled again -
But that special someone, doesn't want to just stay a friend.

And you hope it's like the movies, where the hero always wins,
And the bad guy always gets it, in the end...

Long ago you were happy, without needing someone near.
Was a time that loving meant, ever caring, never needing fear.
Now that that's all over, you wish someone would lend -
A lonely girl a heart, that she'd never need to mend.

And you hope it's like the movies, where the hero always wins,
And the bad guy always gets it, in the end...

(C) 2011, Dave Cox